This wind chime inside my chest.

I can’t see it

but I can hear it.

This wind chime

made of seashells

hanging inside my chest.

at times,

to my Stillness

comes the wind of You.

And my chime song

is how I know of You

and of this wind chime

hanging inside my chest.

~ S.

Photo by unknown: Capiz shells wind chime.

Capiz shells are known for their translucency and durability. They’re also know as Windowpane shells. They’re found in muddy waters. They make the most delicate sounds in the wind.

Posted in Uncategorized | 21 Comments

I remember exactly when!

If I had to choose one song that accurately reflects who I am on the inside, or transparently echoes the conversations inside, it is “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley

I had never heard of this song until sometime within the past 4 years, from a beautiful mind & soul, Karen!

Last night she shared this version of the song. A gentler rendition. And this is who I am now. The gentler rendition of the crazy me.

Here is the original,

Thank you, Karen ❤

Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments

We will snip fresh mint into your tea…

“The Arabs used to say,
When a stranger appears at your door,
feed him for three days
before asking who he is,
where he’s come from,
where he’s headed.
That way, he’ll have strength
enough to answer.
Or, by then you’ll be
such good friends
you don’t care.
Let’s go back to that.
Rice? Pine nuts?
Here, take the red brocade pillow.
My child will serve water
to your horse.
No, I was not busy when you came!
I was not preparing to be busy.
That’s the armor everyone put on
to pretend they had a purpose
in the world.
I refuse to be claimed.
Your plate is waiting.
We will snip fresh mint
into your tea. ”

~ Naomi Shihab Nye, Red Brocade.

Few evening ago, and after a series of long days at work, I was driving home dreaming of arriving, taking my shoes off, rinsing my feet in hot water, and steeping a pot of tea.

By the time all this was done and I was sitting alone at the kitchen table giving tea more time, I realized that this is it, really!

I didn’t want to drink tea.

This was it, all I needed was,

To walk home from my car, parked just far enough. Not too far, my feet were killing me. But not too close. I needed the short walk at dusk. So I can take a little sky and bird song into my dreams.

I needed to run hot water on my feet, then icy cold, to get the sensation back in them,

to wash the tea pot from the leftovers of the day before.

To feel the tea pot like I’m the craftsman making it, shaping the metal. To feel his hands…

To slowly pour the boiling water on the tea leaves. Each leaf telling the story of the hand that picked it.

To walk out, barefoot, and snip fresh mint.

To sit and wait for the tea…

This is it! That was all I wanted…

~ Sawsan

Posted in Uncategorized | 12 Comments

So Help me God.

I missed my morning walk to the lake!
But, I had to be up very early to make it to Department of Homeland Security on time,
And I walked out an American.

The ceremony was beautiful and I didn’t think I’d get this sentimental.

The history of this land.
This American Quilt.

As 118 of us from 40 different countries recited The Oath of Allegiance I thought of the places I came from.
The judge said, “Please stand up when your country is called and remain standing.”

He started with Albania and ended with Yemen!

When he called, “Canada.” I stood very proud and grateful. My heart is in Canada.

I knew the land where dust was gathered to create my bones will not be called. And I won’t get the chance to stand for it. But my Palestinian bones clapped for me as I stood as a Canadian to recite the Oath of Allegiance to the United States of America.

As we said, “against all enemies,” I prayed there won’t be any enemies, foreign or domestic.

When we said, “that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States,” I prayed there will never be need to bear arms.

“That I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law,” I will!

So help me God.

~ Sawsan


Posted in Uncategorized | 22 Comments

Don’t startle the birds…

Source: Ziggy Dragnev on Vimeo

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Dear Baby…

Dear Baby ( Since I don’t know your name yet, I hope you don’t mind me referring to you like this. ),

This is the first letter I’m writing you. I once read that some traditional tribes sustain the belief that babies got to pick their parents. I had laughed at the idea, but now it seems plausible. I imagine you sitting in the sky with angels, skimming through a huge, leather bound catalog that contains photographs of potential mothers. Under each photograph there is a short description. The angels turn the pages with utmost patience. You look at all the candidates…

“Not this one,” You say. “No, not this one either.”

Doctors, engineers, housewives and business women pass before your eyes. Even though there are highly eligible candidates, women who do their jobs well and are very accomplished, you ignore them.

Just then the angel turns another page and my picture pops up. It is not a very good photo of me, my hair is a mess – again – and my makeup is slapdash. I’m wearing my onion clothes. Under my picture is a description: Head pickled, chaotic personality, prone to moments of irrationality, has yet to find herself, is actively searching for answers. Loves telling stories.

Pointing your tiny little finger at my face you remark, “This one could be fun. Let me take a closer look at her.”

I don’t know why you ended up picking me out of all the potential mothers in the universe. Maybe you are a crazy kind of girl/boy. You find the idea of a perfect mother boring. Or, you already know me better than I know myself. Maybe you see the potential in me. Maybe you want to help me overcome my shortcomings. You can be my guide, my best teacher. ( You all have been.)

Like I said, I don’t know why you chose me, but I want you to know that I’m honored. I hope I will never make you regret your decision and say, “Of all the moms in the univers, why did I pick this one? ”

Your loving mom who looks forward to your arrival.


~ Elif Shafak, Black Milk. Translated by Hande Zapsu

J, H, M, & L, I’m blessed by you.

Photo: Winter 2016.

Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

“What is the world really made of, Daddy?

It just so happened this morning when I was opening the curtains and windows in the bedroom that I realized I haven’t heard them yet…
The 12 years we’ve lived here a pair of mourning doves built a nest between the two bed-room windows every summer. There is no way for me to know for sure if it’s the same pair every year.
I’ve been sitting quietly reading, uninterrupted, for the past 5 hours. The past hour I’ve gotten sleepy, time for a nap, but I just can’t put Aetherial Worlds by Tatyana Tolstaya down. Not after I read, “But what is the world really made of, Daddy?”

Then when Silence got real silent, her sound landed like a kiss between my shoulders. I looked up, then back to the book. Then another kiss, and a third. I put the book mark in. Walked three steps to the window, and she was right there. Two feet from my face.

She’s back. It’s officially summer in my soul, as of right now.
Of summer’s intoxicating symphony of lights and sounds, she’s the Cello. She’s the Cello to my summers.

~ Sawsan

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments