Pleasure Principle

“As soon as I hear my wife stirring, I put the little Bialetti espresso pot on the stove and I make her a pot of espresso. I froth milk and I deliver it to her in bed. And she’s usually sitting up, rubbing her eyes, and she invariably says, “Thank you.” She thinks I’m doing her a big favor and I suppose I am, or a small favor, but I think I get more pleasure from doing it than she does in having the coffee.”

~ Ron Padgett, How the Poet Ron Padgett Spends his Sundays.

Inspired by all four of our children at different times saying, “Mom, if a person knows how to do it themselves then they should do/make it.”

my answer, and I hope it sticks, “The difference between being roommates and being ( lovers, friends, family) is that we get to enjoy doing for them what they otherwise can do for themselves. We get to experience the pleasure of holding one of their hands up as we nestle a hot cup of tea in it with our other hand. We get to tuck them in at night. We get to hand them a warm towel as they extend their steamy hand from behind the shower curtain. You might actually secretly hope they forgot to take one so you can get to delight in that moment they ask and the other moment you hand it to them. Nothing makes me more content than when one of you rests their head, or feet on my lap. My pleasure in that is way more than yours. If I put my head on your lap you’ll feel it. I hope you do!

Oh, and the ultimate delight, kissing you all over, when you’re still warm like dough that was left to rise for hours, defenseless, half in dreamland half awake.

I might act surprised, but I secretly can’t wait for the next time one of you girls says, “Mom, can you brush my hair for me, please!”

The difference is the Pleasure Principle. I wish you this pleasure in life!”

~ sawsan

Photo by Katia Chausheva

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9 Responses to Pleasure Principle

  1. roseanne333 says:

    So well said. I love this – I sit here reading this as my daughter and her boy friend prepare to make her Dad and me dinner. Happy Mother’s Day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sawsan says:

      Happy mother’s day to you too, Roseanne! 💕
      I’m sure your daughter is delighted to be the one cooking dinner for you tonight.


  2. Kiki says:

    The first part of your wonderful ‘story’ Sawsan I read with an inner chuckle. ‘Cause I thought you’d uncovering a shortcoming in your husband or awakening from a pleasant dream….. but it was ‘just’ a quote! Ouff, so that’s alright then!!!!!
    I never had the pleasure to comb a daughter’s hair, I have to seriously change my attitude when Hero Husband AGAIN just takes me already damp bath sheet because he’s forgotten to put his next to the shower – or getting angry because he is so ‘the forgetful professor’ – I shall very much think of you when he conveniently forgets his towel and asks me to hand him something or dripping all over the bathroom to fetch it himself (he’s like a rhyno stepping out of a pool…. bringing a tornado with him from the shower). Thank you for that.
    Didn’t get any flowers but got a heart-warming and unexpected written Thank You (you’re fighting like a lion for the good to happen) from my son – I cooked a meal as I do every day, now 3 meals per day instead of maybe one when HH was away most of the time – and I’m eternally thankful for this ‘new gift’ of being together and only separated by some walls….
    I fully live my Pleasure Principle – which explains also why our new appartment (which is an old appt in a 40+yr old rental) still looks mostly like a tip – but with having visitors at the end of next week I shall now make a move forward and build some mountains with stuff I can no longer keep and which I will have to put somewhere until the brocante will open again and take my 200 books I meant to bring to the UK, clothes I haven’t worn for over an year, the overkill of shoes, the 2nd hundred of plastic containers with lids, and, and, and….. Tomorrow will be the first day of my new Pleasure Life 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dale says:

    Wonderful, Sawsan.
    Yes, yes, and yes. Yes, we teach them to do for themselves (and not expect things) but yes, we must also teach them the joys of doing for others or having things done for them. It is often just a small little thing, isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Live & Learn says:

    You are a Wonder.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Mindful(less?)ness | A Dalectable Life

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