“As soon as I hear my wife stirring, I put the little Bialetti espresso pot on the stove and I make her a pot of espresso. I froth milk and I deliver it to her in bed. And she’s usually sitting up, rubbing her eyes, and she invariably says, “Thank you.” She thinks I’m doing her a big favor and I suppose I am, or a small favor, but I think I get more pleasure from doing it than she does in having the coffee.”
~ Ron Padgett, How the Poet Ron Padgett Spends his Sundays.
Inspired by all four of our children at different times saying, “Mom, if a person knows how to do it themselves then they should do/make it.”
my answer, and I hope it sticks, “The difference between being roommates and being ( lovers, friends, family) is that we get to enjoy doing for them what they otherwise can do for themselves. We get to experience the pleasure of holding one of their hands up as we nestle a hot cup of tea in it with our other hand. We get to tuck them in at night. We get to hand them a warm towel as they extend their steamy hand from behind the shower curtain. You might actually secretly hope they forgot to take one so you can get to delight in that moment they ask and the other moment you hand it to them. Nothing makes me more content than when one of you rests their head, or feet on my lap. My pleasure in that is way more than yours. If I put my head on your lap you’ll feel it. I hope you do!
Oh, and the ultimate delight, kissing you all over, when you’re still warm like dough that was left to rise for hours, defenseless, half in dreamland half awake.
I might act surprised, but I secretly can’t wait for the next time one of you girls says, “Mom, can you brush my hair for me, please!”
The difference is the Pleasure Principle. I wish you this pleasure in life!”
Photo by Katia Chausheva