I remember the instant the idea of her was conceived as vividly as I remember holding her in my arms the first time.
Her soul had been roaming around so close asking to come through.
She knocked and knocked from the inside of my heart and it echoed so loud and clear in my chest.
Thanksgiving night 2003
“Are you SURE, honey?”
“Never been more sure of anything else in my life”
Fast forward to 8/23/2004
She spent the rest of the night in my husband’s and Jasmine’s arms.
By dawn he went home and Jasmine fell asleep on a chair next to me.
Got up and walked to the window of my room facing East. It’s almost sunrise.
I pulled the curtains wide open and pulled the blinds all the way up.
Then walked back to where she was sleeping.
Got her out of the flannel blanket she was wrapped in and out of her onesie.
Skin on skin
I held her tight close to my heart and walked towards the sunrise.
I wanted the Sun to see what it shines for.
ONE of the reasons it’ll continue to rise for…
Fiddled with her fingers, tips of her fingers on the tips of mine.
Exceptionally long and thin and elegant, still are.
They are now the fingers of an elegant graceful young, 11 year-old, woman.
Every morning now, at sunrise,
the same sound that echoed loud and clear in my chest
coming from the inside of my heart years ago,
still echoes like thunder in my chest.
Except now, it’s coming from her room while she is still sleeping like a baby.
Photo: Layla , 5-minutes old